“What did you give up to be here today?” That’s the question Pilgrim George asked me when it was my turn to walk alongside him (since you could not walk more than two across, sometimes only one, along the highway).
My answer to him:
Hours of paid work — which is particularly meaningful right now, with our family finances in a state of struggle and me being the only one working. And time with my children. I also added that I expected to give up some comfort (after all, 8 miles is quite a distance for someone unhealthy like me; it can be a lot for many people, and I haven’t walked 8 miles even in an entire week since at least last year).
That final answer, regarding comfort, was given partly in jest although, I have to admit, I was a little concerned over how I would fare (and I told George of my concerns, as well as of my trust that God would give me strength, which was the only way I could even consider undertaking such a walk that seemed impossible to me).
Actually, I didn’t fully understand my third answer (again, the one about comfort) until MUCH later in our walk (about the 6th or 7th mile maybe).
Pilgrim George discussed suffering for Christ, and I had not initially considered the walk in that way. I had thought of it more in terms of prayer and fellowship rather than sacrifice and suffering.
Now I understand a little better. Christ walked a grueling trek during the final hours of His human life. He had been beaten, tortured, whipped. He was bleeding, exhausted, and dejected. And he had to carry a cross as He walked every painful step to Calvary.
I can never fully experience the same degree of suffering as Christ (none of us can), but yesterday I glimpsed a small measure of it. I was brought closer to Jesus, my Beloved Lord and Savior, through understanding (just a little more) how difficult it must have been, from a human standpoint, for him to take each and every step. Especially toward the end of His walk, as He must have been ready to fall over.
Then, the support of Simon, who took His cross from Him for part of the journey. What a blessing, what a relief, what a joy that must have been! With so many people persecuting and mocking Him, to have help surely was a Godsend (which I know it was!).
Even though Simon was forced to help, surely he was blessed by this task as well – by the task of taking a small portion of Christ’s burden on his own shoulders. Not many would have had the chance to understand in quite the way Simon would after that.
Not that I can claim to understand to that degree, but a pilgrimage does help you understand more than you did before (and to feel a little more than you did previously). I am thankful for the opportunity to grow closer to God in this unique way.
What did I give up? I think I gave up a little innocence, not having known that kind of physical suffering before.
I think I also took on some additional responsibility. Now that I understand a little more, and now that I have grown closer to Christ, I have the responsibility to continue on my path to Him (and my walk WITH Him). Not to stray. Not to grow weary. Not to give up! To just keep on walking toward Heaven, and to help as many others as I can on my way (to help them also reach Heaven). I can do it through Christ’s strength!
This experience has also awakened an even deeper hunger in me to expand my prayer life. I want more of Jesus! Maybe that’s selfish, but there are worse things I could want more of.
This past week, I’ve actually been reading the Bible more again than I have been lately (with the past few months being so busy), and I’ve also been praying more again (maybe God’s way of preparing me for the walk). I’ve also started reciting “The Jesus Prayer” recently (I mentioned it in a previous post, http://chrisdowns.wordpress.com/2007/07/04/the-way-of-a-pilgrim-pray-without-ceasing/) throughout the day, trying to pray without ceasing and keep God in my heart.
But, now, after yesterday’s pilgrimage (if you can call my part of it that; my portion of the walk was so inconsequential compared to the 1300 miles George walked, but I’ve also walked spiritually and emotionally as well) – now, after yesterday’s experience, I just want to be filled with Christ’s love and His Word. I want to know more, learn more, experience more, just BE with Him. I certainly know I can BE MORE with Him and through Him, and it all STARTS with giving Him my time, giving Him my ALL.
Pilgrim George is such a perfect example of giving Christ His all. Many of us have more distractions in life (families, jobs, other activities), drawing us more often away from time with God. Yet, we can still make time for God. It may not be as constant as walking 15 miles a day in prayer (and spending 7 whole months primarily in solitude and prayer, although that sounds absolutely heavenly at times), but we can learn to have constant prayer in our hearts. We can learn to pray without ceasing. We can learn to discipline ourselves (self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-26) to devote specific time to more deep prayer, Bible study, and meditation. We can learn to do more than we already do.
Why is it so hard, in our busy society, to find that time for God? Yesterday, we devoted our entire day to God, and it was wonderful! I wish I could do that every day in the same way, but, realistically, I know I cannot. However, I can still devote my entire day (my entire life) to God in more subtle and personal ways. I can find my own ways and my own time. I can also walk my own path with God (which may not involve so much physical walking as it does for our friend George, but just as much spiritual walking).
So, what did I give up by being there? I’m not going to dwell on what I GAVE UP yesterday because I GAINED so much more!
What did I GAIN by being there?
I gained a deeper understanding of Christ’s suffering, which is a blessing although it sounds like it would not be (to experience suffering).
I gained a more fervent hunger for the Lord! What a blessing. What more could I possibly ask for? What more could I possibly hope to gain? That is everything.
(Also, please check out my previous post about some of the practical details of our walk, to set the stage, so to speak: http://chrisdowns.wordpress.com/2007/09/02/details-about-pilgrim-george-and-this-annual-labor-day-weekend-pilgrimage/. Thank you. – Chris)
